A: I have the perfect son. 
B: Does he smoke? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: Does he drink whiskey? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: Does he ever come home late? 
A: No, he doesn't. 
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? 
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Sex Education:

A teacher was telling her students about human anatomy in a sex education class. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of a male and a female.

"The female has two breasts and one vagina. The male has one penis."

A little boy in the front row jumped up and said that the teacher was wrong.

"My daddy has two penises. He has a short one that he pees with and a long one that he brushes Mommy's teeth with!"