लहानपणी आई सांगायची.....
की बाळा खोट बोललास तर देवबाप्पा तोंड वाकड करेल.....
आज शरद पवार ला बघुन विश्वास बसला राव......
Some Boy Scouts from the city were on a camping trip.
The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten.
Then one of the scouts saw some lightning bugs and said to his friend, “We might as well give up. They’re coming after us with
flashlights.”
My cat is so smart.
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He eats cheese, then waits at the mouse hole with baited breath.
If baby pigs are called piglets, why aren’t baby bulls called bullets and baby chickens
chicklets?
What is as big as an elephant but doesn’t weigh an ounce?
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An elephant’s shadow.
First octopus: What do you like least about being an octopus?
Second octopus: Washing my hands before dinner.
Steve: How did your parakeet die?
Fred: Flu.
Steve: Don’t be silly. Parakeets don’t die from the flu.
Fred: Mine did. He flew under a bus.
Three mice are sitting around boasting about their strengths. The first mouse says, “Mouse
traps are nothing! I do push-ups with the bar.”
The second mouse pulls a pill from his pocket, swallows it, and says with a grin, “That was
rat poison.”
The third mouse got up to leave. The first mouse says, “Where do you think you’re going?”
“It’s time to go home and chase the cat.”
One day a chicken went to a library and said, “Book, book, book.” The librarian gave the
chicken three books, and the chicken went on its way.
The next day the same chicken came into the library and said, “Book, book, book.” So the
librarian gave the chicken three books again, but this time she became suspicious of where
the chicken was taking the books, so she decided to follow the chicken.
After awhile, the chicken came to a swamp and stopped beside a frog. The chicken gave the
three books to the frog, and the frog said, “Read it! Read it! Read it!”
What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
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“Wheeeee!”
Why are frogs so happy?
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They eat whatever bugs them.
Teacher: Where are elephants found?
Student: They’re so big, I didn’t think they could get lost!
What comes once in a minute, once in a month, but never in a day?
The letter m.
Two guys on a tandem bike were pedaling up a hill. It took forever to get to the top. When
they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, “Whew, that was so hard.”
The second replied, “If I hadn’t been pushing the brakes the whole time, we would have
rolled down backwards.”
Q: What kind of balls don’t bounce?
A: Eyeballs.
Q: Why can’t you play hide-and-seek with mountains?
A: Because they’re always peaking.
Q: What did the bride say when she dropped her bouquet?
A: “Whoopsy-Daisies.”
Q: Why did Jimmy’s parents scream when they saw his grades?
A: Because he had a bee on his report card.
🐓एक मुर्गा मालिक को खिङकी से बैठा देख रहा था।
मालिक बहुत बीमार था,मालिक की पत्नी उसके बगल में बैठी थी।
पत्नी बोली : आपको बहुत तेज़ बुखार है मै आपके लिए चिकन सूप बना लाती हूँ। इतना सुनते ही मुर्गे के तोते उङ गये।
मुर्गा बोला : आंटी जी एक बार क्रोसिन देखो , लगेच चिकेन सूप क्या..?? (ओ ताई एकदा क्रोसिन पण देउन बघ ना...काय लगेच चिकन सुप ??)
Spanish captain was walking on his ship...
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A soldier rushes to him and says, "One enemy ship is approaching us!"
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Captain replies calmly, "Go get my red shirt"
The soldier gets the shirt for the captain.
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The enemy ship comes in, heavy rounds of fire are exchanged.
Finally, the Spaniards win.
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Soldier asks, "Congrats sir, but why the red shirt?"
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Captain replies, "If i got injured, then my blood shouldn't be seen, as i didn't want my men to loose hope."
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Moral:
For success, hope is very important.
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Just then, another soldier,
"Sir, we just spotted another TWENTY enemy ships!"
The captain calmly replies,
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"Go bring my yellow pants"
The Bathtub Test:
During a visit 2 a 'Mental Hospital' journalist askd the Director: "How do u determine whthr 2 admit a patient or not?"
Director: "Well, we fill a Bathtub,
then v give a teaspoon, a teacup & a bucket to the patient & ask him to empty the Bathtub."
The journalist said: "oh, a normal person would use the bucket coz its bigger, right!"
Director: "No! A normal person wud pull the Drain Plug".
Now tell me which bed u want?:-P;-)
Why Planning is important?
One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could
not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as
dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had
gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car
burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in
no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They
thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as
this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate
classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
See Below for the question Paper
Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ......... (2 marks)
Q.2.. which tire burst? (98 MARKS)
a) Front Left b) Front Right
c) Back Left d) Back Right
True story from IIT Bombay ....Batch 1992
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world ".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife .
Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show\=D/
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!X_X
EK BAR School Me Aag Lag Gayi
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Sab Bache Khush The K Ab Skul Nhi Aana Padega 😃
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1 Bacha Udaas Tha 😌
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Teacher : Beta Y R U Sad ??😥
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Bacha : Sir School to jal Gaya par Ap to Zinda Bach Gaye
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