Shock of life Biwi ne Suhagraat par shohar se bola Please ye condom use nahi karna. Mujhe is brand se allergy hai.
Savita – Yar Raat Aur Suhagrat Main Kya Fark hota Hai?
Kavita – Suhagrat Main Hum Sirf Pati Ke Sath hi So Sakte Hain aur Jab Ki Raat Main Aisa Koi Niyam Nahi Hota.
Santa Apni Suhaagraat Mein Patni ki Boobs Suck Karte Hua Bola: Tumhare Boobs Kitne Naram, Garam Aur Sharbati Hai…
Patni, Sharmate Hue: Patan Nahi Ji, Jitne Muh, Utni Baatein.
HONEYMOON
H – Hawas mita do
O – Or chuso
N – Nanga karke
E – Ek hi jhatke mein
Y – Yeh gaya
M – Maar dala
O – Or dalo
O – Or tez
N- Ni..k..a..l g..a. y..a
Boy during Sex: Kyun na hum shadi kar lein, phir hum roz aisa kar sakenge.
Girl: Mazdoor ho mMazdoori karo, factory ka maalik ban-ne ki koshish na karo.
पति पत्नी की नयी नयी शादी हुई
दोनों हनीमून पर टैक्सी में जा रहे थे
अचानक पत्नी चिल्लाई
पत्नी – रुको, नहीं तो बहुत मारूंगी
ड्राइवर ने डर से तुरंत गाड़ी रोक दी
ड्राइवर- लो रोक दी मैडम
पत्नी –
.
.
.
भैया तुम चलते रहो
मैं तो अपने पति से कह रही थी 
ड्राइवर बेहोश
pati patni ki nayi nayi shaadi hui
donon hanimoon par taiksi mein ja rahe the
achaanak patni chillai
patni – ruko, nahin to bahut maaroongi
draivar ne dar se turant gaadi rok di
draivar- lo rok di maidam
patni –
.
.
.
.
bhaiya tum chalate raho
main to apane pati se kah rahi thi
draivar behosh
सुहागरात के बिल्लू अपनी बीवी की गोद में लेता था,
बिल्लू – अगर मैं मर गया तो ?
पिंकी – ऐसा मत कहो जानू
बिल्लू – अगर मैं मर गया तो क्या तुम तुरंत नयी शादी कर लोगी?
पिंकी – नहीं तुरंत नहीं,
2 -3 महीने तो रुकना पड़ेगा नहीं तो लोग क्या कहेंगे
बेचारा बिल्लू अभी भी सदमे में है 
पिंकी की नयी नवेली शादी हुई,
रात को सोते टाइम पिंकी रोमांटिक होकर बोली –
अजी सुनते हो क्या?
पति – क्या हुआ ?
पिंकी – कुछ ऐसा करो जो
पसीना आ जाये,
पति उठा और पंखा बंद करके सो गया
हाहाहा हाहाहाहा
एक लड़की की नयी नयी शादी हुई,
लड़की – कोई हनीमून(Honeymoon) जाने के लिए सस्ता सा पैकेज है क्या ?
एजेंट – जी, 50 हजार में 3 दिन 3 रात बैंकाक में ,
लड़की – नहीं कोई सस्ता वाला बताओ,
एजेंट – तो 35 हजार में 3 दिन 4 रात कश्मीर में ,
लड़की – थोड़ा और सस्ता प्लीज़ ,
एजेंट – ठीक है ,
लन्दन में 10 दिन 11 रात ,
खाना फ्री , रहना फ्री , गाड़ी फ्री ,
लड़की -वाओ ये पैकेज कितने का है,,
एजेंट का जवाब सुनते ही लड़की बेहोश ,
एजेंट बोला – पैकेज एकदम फ्री नो पैसा ,
पर पति हमारी तरफ से होगा ,,
Suhagrat Pr
Pati-Kaisa Mehsus Kr Rahi Ho?
Patni-Bura Lg Raha H,
Qki Ajtak Gsm Thi
Isliye Koi Sa B Sim Dal Sakti Thi
Aj Se Cdma Ho Gayi
Ek Hi Sim Dalna Padega..
Nayi Dulhan Ko Dulhe Ne
Suhagrat Pe Muh Dikhai Ke
Rs 25,000 Diye..
Dulhan Itne Sare Paise
Dekh Kar Ghabra Ke Boli:
Suno Ji Pura Khandaan Thokega Kya…?
Suhagraat Ko Dulha Bola- Jaan.. Aaj Tumhe Chand Pe Le Jau Ya Taro Pe.?
Dulhan Sharma Ke Boli- Ye Toh Aapka Rocket Dekhkar Hi Bataa Paungi
Suhagrat Ko Wife Husband Se Boli ‘Karo?
Husband- Mujhe Kuch Nahi Aata
Wife- Koi Baat Nahi Jaise Main Karu Vaise Hi Karte Jaao,
Wife Ne Kapde Utare
Husband Ne Bhi Kapde Utaare
Fir..Wife Ne Letker Taange Utha Lee To Husband Ne Bhi Letkar Taange Utha Lee Or Bola’Ab’?
Wife: Ab Aisa Kar Bhosdike Bahar Se 3 Aadmi Bula Laa.. Ek Meri Marega Aur Ek Teri.
Husband: Aur Teesra.?
Wife- Teesra Free Ka Whatsapp Msg Padne Wale Ki Marega Jo Bahut Muskura Raha Hai..
Suhagrat Ko Wife Husband Se Boli ‘Karo’
Husband- Mujhe Kuch Nahi Aata
Wife- Koi Baat Nahi Jaise Main Karu Vaise Hi Karte Jaao,
Wife Ne Kapde Utare
Husband Ne Bhi Kapde Utaare Fir….Wife Ne Letker Taange Utha Lee To Husband Ne Bhi Letkar Taange Utha Lee Or Bola’Ab’?
Wife: Ab Aisa Kar Bh*Sdike Bahar Se 3 Aadmi Bula Laa.. Ek Meri Marega Aur Ek Teri.
Husband: Aur Teesra.?
Wife- Teesra Free Ka Msg Padne Wale Ki Marega Jo Bahut Muskura Raha Hai..
Ladke Ki Suhagrat Thi
Ladka Ladki Se:-Jaanu Main Light Off Kar Raha Hu Tum Apne Kapde Utaaro
Ladke Ne Light Band Kar Di
Puray Kamre(Room) Me Andhera Ho Gaya
Ladke Ne Ladki Ki Chut Me Daalne K Bajae Ladki Ki Naak Me Daal Diya
Fir Subah Ko
Ladki Ladke Se:-Raat Aapne Meri Naak Me Q Daala Tha?
Ladka:-Naak Me Daala Tha To Bata Deti
Ladki:-Batati Kaisi Lund Naak Me Tha Or Aand Mu Me Phase Hue The 
Height Of Insult
Suhagrat Ko Husband Wife Ko
Puri Mehnat K Sath Thok Rha Tha
Tabhi Wife Kahti Hai
Ab Daal B Do Ji.Kab Tak Ungli Karte Rahoge
PAKISTANI DISCRETE MATHS QUESTION PAPER
========================================== i) Students found copying will be shot on the spot.
ii)Any student coming late after 10 minutes after the exam starts will be forced to join Al Qayda group
iii)Ak 47 -s and Grenades are not allowed in the exam hall.Students may keep their daggers,Revolvers and pack of anthrax bombs only for self defense.
=========================================== Exam Time 3 hours
Full Marks 100
All questions are compulsory.
1. Abdul was sent to jail for murder. He has 7 wifes in his house. Abdul distributed Money to his wives in such a proportion that the youngest and most recent wife receives maximum and oldest wife gets minimum, and each wife gets double of her former competitor. Abdul has 1700 Rupaye left in his house. Abdul's oldest wife needs atleast 25 rupaye per month. Find out the time when Abdul will have to break Jail to come out and earn money so that his wives do not starve.
2. Karim is a Drug seller. Prices per gram of Marihuana, hasis, haroine and LHD s are 50, 60,70,80 Rupaye respectively. Karim offers a discount of Rupaye 20 for his buyers who buys more than 50 grams of drug. If Rahim , a buyer gets Rupaye 37 discount find out the grams of LHD he bought.
3. Imran tampers the ball thrice per over. He deforms the ball .02% of its original shape each time . Find the percentage deformation the ball due to tampering in a one day series against India in which Imran bowled 9.3 overs.
4. Mohammed has a Company named Al Qayada Kidnapping & Murder Private Limited. He has to threat 10 people per day over Telephone. 40% of the people he threats are cinema stars in Mumbai, 30% are Businessman in Delhi, 20% are Cricket Players in Madras and 10% are shopkeepres in Calcutta . IF isd charges are rupaye 15, 25, 40, 50 per minute from Mohammed's city Islamabad to Bombay, Delhi, Calcutta and Madras respectively and he gets a Telephone bill of 10,230 Rupaya in a month Find out The No of Cinema stars in Mumbai , threatened in that particular month.
5. A terrorist group has to provide one Ak 47.one AK 49,one Rocket Launcher, 50 Grenades and one pack of RDX to its Ron roots for training .One AK 47 costs 100$; One Ak 49 costs 150 $ ,A Bazuka rocket Launcher costs 250 $ , grenade is 3 $ each , a pack of Rdx Bomb attached with remote Control is 500 $. The terrorist group admitts 2000 new people every year out of which 30 % are court-martialed . Find the amt of Foreign Money Pakistan Govt has to provide each year to run such a group.
6. If stabilty of democratic Govt. in pakistan is given by the following equation X exp3 +X exp2 -16 =i; Find out x.
7. Probaliblity of a Pakistani prime minister to be shot is 78 %. Probabilty of a Military general to be shot is 80 % . FInd the joint probability of a Prime minister to be shot who is also a Military general.
8. Find out geometrically the area of Pakistaan using PI Theorem with Osama BIn Ladens Correction (That is taking he value of PI = 786 instead of 3.14....), if Paktunistaan is taken as a heptagon.
9. A 'GHAURI' missile tries to fly from Drass to Kargil which is not too far from Drass (say 100 miles) and is exactly to the East of Drass . The wind is blowing from the South and the speed of the wind is exactly equal to the speed of the airplane. (The speed of the airplane is measured with respect to the air!)The pilot decides to steer traight to Kargil all the time during the flight. Will the airplane ever reach Kargil ?
10. What if the speed of the wind is k times the speed of the airplane, where k is a positive number (can be greater or less than 1)? Try to sketch the trajectory of the airplane (with respect to the ground, of course) in each of the three cases: k=1, k1 and k<1.
11. Briefly discuss the Unsolved problem f "Bisection of a Trinagle" with a Compass and an unmarked ruler if the triangle is named as KASHMIR.
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