A husband and wife are traveling by car fromAtlanta to New York. After almost twenty-four hours
on the road, they decide to stop at a nice hotel and take a room. They only plan to sleep for four hours
and then get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes
and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk that although it’s a nice hotel, the
rooms certainly aren’t worth $350. When the clerk explains that $350 is the standard rate, the man
insists on speaking to the manager.
The manager enters the conversation and explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a
huge conference center which were available for the husband and wife to use. He also explains that
they could have taken in one of the shows which the hotel is famous for. “The best entertainers from
New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,” explains the manager.
“No matter what facilities you have,” the man replies, “we didn’t use them!”
The manager is unmoved. Eventually, the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and
hands it to the manager. “But, sir,” the manager says, “this check is only made out for $100.”
“That’s right,” replies the man. “I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife.”
“What! I didn’t sleep with your wife!” exclaims the manager.
“Well,” the man replies, “she was here, and you could have.”
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes
of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes
he got the biggest piece.
Tears :The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage .
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.
Classic:A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile :A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and you with his bills.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
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