PLE EXAMS 2015 - UNEB (Instructions: Answer all questions). Time allowed: 5 Minutes.
1: "Explain using diagrams why Straka cannot use boda bodas (8 marks)"
2: What is the alternative name to a thief in Uganda
a) Kazinda
b) Govt official
c) MP
d) All the above (5 marks)
3: The cow died. Begin sentence with 'death' using Seya tense
a) Death deaded the cow
b) Death, alas the cow
c) deathen’t the cow? (5 marks)
4: If Besigye left his house @ 11.30am and police is notified @ midday, calculate time for evacuating the city? (7 marks)
5: Fill in the missing words, Janet is to Museveni as ...............¬....... is to Olara Otuunu. (5 marks)
6: With 50k in his wallet David Ivan was stopped by seven policemen on his way to work...how much money did David Ivan have when he reached work? (7 marks)
6: If John M. earns 1.5m but owns a 10billion complex, what is the probability that John M is a minister (4marks)
7: In a verbal fight, place the winners in order.
a) Andrew Mwenda
b) Golola Moses
c) Salaam Musumba
d) Tamale Mirundi (4marks)
8: If u own 20% shares in Umeme, what is the probability that you will have power (5 marks)
9: Mad Tiger, Weasel, Chameleone, Mad cobra, Lizard, Master Parrot, Young Mulo, Sweet Kid, Radio, Elephant man... Which profession do these animals belong (2marks)
10: In the event that Wandegeya gets its independence, what is its likely national emblem?
a) Pig
b) TV chicken
c) Kaloli (5 marks)
10: Besides Constitution Square, name any other popular sleeping place for policemen (2 marks)
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes
of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes
he got the biggest piece.
Tears :The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage .
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.
Classic:A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile :A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and you with his bills.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
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