Teacher;- Batao Raja Akbar Ne Kab Tak
Shaashan Kiya?
Pappu;- Madam, Page No 22 Sey 30 Tak
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Ent Pr Ent Chadta Hai
To
Deewar Ban Jati Hai
Or
Ladki Pr Ladka Chadata Hai
To
Parivaar Ban Jata Hai
..
Jeevan Me Kya Lekar Aye They
Kya
Lekar Jana Jayengey
Kaaju Jaisa Lekar Aaye They
Kaila Jaisa Lekar Jana Hai
To Mauj Karo
Or
Kapdey Utaar Kar Roj Karo
Bachpan Me Bhooto K
Jawani Me Chooto K
Or
Budhapey Mey Yamdooto K Sapne
Dimaag Ki Maa Choadkar Rakh Dete Hai
Jab Kismat Me Hi Likha Hai Gaand Ghasna
To
Kya Karega Nimbu Paani Or Rasna
_____________________________________
Aadmi Ko Zindagi Me Sirf 2 Cheezey
Achi Milni Chahiye
1 Khuraak(Khana Paani Roti)
2 Suraakh(Choot)
_____________________________________
Sonakshi Sinha Kisi Pr Sirf
Isliye Naraj Ho Gayi Hai Kyunki
Wo Shaksh Unhey Bikini Me Dekhna Chahta
Tha
Pr Yaha Naraj To Bikini Ko Hona Chahiye
Be Ijjati To Uski Huyi Hai
____________________________________
Teacher;- Aisi Kon C Cheej Hai Jise Dekh
To Saktey Hai Pr Choo Nahi Saktey
Pappu;- Madam Rehne Do Aap Bura Man jaogey
____________________________________
Suhaagraat Ko Pati K Andar Gustey Hi
Patni Ne Apna Blouse Utara Diya
Pati Dekhkar Bada Hairan Hua Or Biwi
Sey Pucha;-Arey Tumne Mere Aatey Hi
Apna Blouse Kyu Utar Diya
Patni Sharmatey Huye Boli;- Ji Aapki
Babhi Ne Kha Tha Ki Jaatey Hi Apne Pati
Ko Dhoodh Pila Dena
_____________________________________
Ratan Tata Ko Reteirment K Baad Pta Chla
Ki Nano Car Me 2 Pareshaaniya Hai
1 Pregnent Mahila Andar Nahi Aa Sakti
2 Car K Andar Kisi Mahila Ko Pregnent Nahi Kar
Saktey
_____________________________________
Machar Study Kar Rahey They
Pehla Machar;- Mai To Aagey Doctor
Banuga
Dusra Macahar;- Main To Aagey Chalkar Enggineer
Banuga
Itne Me Santa Aaya Or Mortein Jala Diya
Dono Machar Bole;- Bhenchaod Ney Sara
Carrier Kharab Kar Diya
______________________________________
Ek Hota Hai Sundar
Ek Hota Hai Ati Sundar
..
..
..
In Sabse Bhi Khin Agey
Bhenchoad Kya Maal Hai
_____________________________________
Jab Jab Mera Insaniyat Sey Vishwaas Uthane
Lagta Hai
Tab Tab Koi MahaPurush Whatsapp Pr
..
..
..
Porn Movie Bhej Kar Insaniyat Ki Nayi Misaal
Kayam Kar Deta Hai
______________________________________
Wo Shaksh Bhi Kitna Madarchoad Hoga
..
..
..
..
..
..
.
Jisne Choot Chaatne Ka Aavishakar Kiya Hoga
________________________________________
Paksitaan Mey
Teacher Bachey Sey;- Tumhey Pta
Hamare Purvaj Bandar They
Bacha;- Chup Madarchaod Tere Hoge
Hamare To Aatankvaadi They
_____________________________________
Ek Angoori Bhabhi Ko Pet Dard Hua
To Wah Doctor K Paas Gayi
Doctor Ney Kha Tum Garabhvati Ho
Angoori Rote Huye Maine Kha Tha
Laado K Bhaiya Sey Pehle Hi Kha Tha
K Kam Dam Lga K Karo
To Doctor Ne Kha Bhabhi Ji Wo Kam Dam
Nhi Condom Hota Hai
Bhabhi Ji Haskar Boli;-
Ha Han Sahi Pakde Hai
_____________________________________
Ek Pal Me Usne Paraya Kar Diya
Jab Wo Boli
Muh Me Lene K Alag Paise Langeygey
______________________________________
Ladka;- Kya Tum Mujhsey Pyaar Karti Ho
Ladki;- Han Mai Tumhare Liye Kuch Bhi
Kar Sakti Hu
Ladka;- Sach
Ladki;- Han
Ladka;- Chal Fir Fatafat Ghodi Ban Ja
____________________________________
Teacher;- ABCD Sey Shuru Hone Wale Ek Vakya
Banao
Pappu;- Aapki Bhen Choad Dunga
____________________________________
Teacher;- Batao Congress Ki Sathapana Kisne Ki
Student;- Pta Nahi Sir Kisne Ki
Pr Visarjan To Rahul Gandhi Hi Karengey
_____________________________________
Santa;- Oriyo Biscuit Ka Add Pta Nhi Bacho Ko Biscuit
Khana Sikha Rha Hai Ya Sex Karna
Banta;- Wo Kaise
Santa;- Kehtey Hai Pehle Kholo Fir Chaato
Or Dip Karo
_____________________________________
Husband & Wife Boxing ka match mehnga ticket khareed kar dekhne gaye . 1 Boxer ne 1st minute mei hi doosre ko knock out kar diya . Husband : Oh Shit . Biwi : Ab Aap ko patta challa k 1 minute mein ” KHEL ” khatam hone par kitna ghussa aata hai . Jin ko samjh aaya wo aagay forward karen . baki pogo dekhe… ??????
Pappu apni girlfriend se sex karte huye, Romantic baate kar rha tha. Girlfriend – Jaanu wada karo, Tum mera dil nahi todoge. Pappu – Nahi pagal, Mera panis itana lamba nahi hain.
HONEYMOON H – Hawas mita do O – Or chuso N – Nanga karke E – Ek hi jhatke mein Y – Yeh gaya M – Maar dala O – Or dalo O – Or tez N- Ni..k..a..l g..a. y..a
Girl Friend: Mera rishta aaya hai aur shadi hone wali hy. Boy Friend: That’s Good, Phir to hum condom ke bina sex kar sakenge.
——
Ladka: “Kash main teri bra hota, to sara din tere boobs se chipka rahta” Ladki: “Main kisi aur se dabva rahi hoti, aur tu zameen par dhool chat raha hota”
—–
Wife: Agar dunia sirf 30 minute mein khatam ho rahi ho to tum kya karna chahoge? Husband: Off course Sex. Aur baki ke 29 Minutes?-
Son: (pointing to the breast) Mom ye kya hai? Mom: Ye balloon hai. Son: Mom aapke balloon kamwali ke balloon se chhote kyun hain? Mom: Tune kamwali ke kab dekhe? Son: Jab papa hawa bhar rahe the.
Minister To Wife: Sach Sach Batao,Kitni Bar Humse Bewafai Ki Hai ? Wife: 3 Baar, Minister: Kab Kab? Wife: Jab Aapka Heart Ka Operation Hua Tha, Dr.K Pas Gayi Thi, Fir Jab Aap Jail Me Band Hue To Judge K Pas Gayi Thi, Minister: Aur Kab? Wife: Jab Aapko Sarkar Banani Thi Aur Aapke Paas 76 MLA Kam The..!
—————
Agar reliance wala BRA banayega to slogan kya hoga. -Come on India Karlo Mumme muthi me. -Mere papa ka sapna – sabke doodh par ho dhakkan apna
*————-
Raat ko kamre ka lock kharab hogaya tha…
Biwi ne torch li aur mujhe sath lekar lock theek karne chali.
Biwi ne torch mujhe thamaayi aur khud lock kholne me lag gayi.
Kaafi samay guzar gaya lekin lock tha ki khulne ka naam hi nahi le raha tha.
Biwi ka paara saatwein aasmaan ko chhoone laga.
Phir usne torch khud pakad li aur mujhe kaha ki tum try karo. Maine koshish kiya toh lock jhat se khul gaya.
Biwi mujh pe baras padhi aur kahne lagi…
Ab pata chala?? ??Torch kaise pakadte hain ????
?????
Pappu ki nayi nayi shadi huyi.
Suhagrat ke din pappu ne dulhan ko nanga karke,
Uske niche mombatti jalakar rakh di.
Dulhan – Kutte pagal hain kya ?
Pappu – Dosto ne btaya tha,
Sex karne se pahale garm karne se jyeda maja aata hain. ????
Kisan ki suhagrat thi.
Apni patni ke pet pe hath phekar bola –
Ye meri jamin hain, Isme main aalu bounga, aur so gya.
Agale din boobs dawate huye –
Ye mere aalu hain, inka main bij bnaung.
Tisre din jaise hi usne patni ki kamar me hath dala.
patni gusse se – Agar aaj tune mere andar gajar nahi boyi,
To main ye jamin kisi aur ko de dungi. ????-
Bachpan Se 2 Hi Cheezein Sabse Zyada Mili Hain Biscuits Aur Dost!
Fark Sirf Itna Hai Ki Biscuits Marie Ke Mile Aur Dost…
.
.
.
.
.
.
Chut-Marie Ke!
Husband is praying before going to bed …
Wife: What are you praying for?
Husband: For guidance.
Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!-
Fauji’s wife daily sends her
nude photo with both legs wide open …
“Janu, I’ll wait like this till you come!”
Fauji: Wo to theek hai,
par photo kaun kheench raha hai??
Girl Friend: I demand gud manners in bed,
just like at the dinner table …
Sardar climbs into bed slowly & says:
Honey, would you pass the boobs please??-
Girl: condoms Dena..
Shopkeeper(masti main): kis liye -e-e-e
Girl(Gusse se): Tere baap ko gift karungi,
taki tere jaisa dusra
CHUTIYA paida na kare….-
Shop pe Ladki ne 36 ki Bra li or trial room me
kameez uttar ke dukandar ko andr bulaya.
Dukandar ne Boobs dekh ke chusna shuru
kar diye jin pe behoshi ki dawa lagi hui thi,
Wo behosh ho gaya.
Ladki ne shop ka tamam Cash liya &
jate hue shishe pe likh gai:
Khula Dudh Sehat ke lie Hanikarak Hai !!-
Ek Admi gusse me Biwi se bola-
Dil karta hai ki aaj tere tukde tukde kar k idhar udhar fek Du.
Achanak pados me se awaaz aayi..
Bhai ‘choot’ idhar fekna.
शराबियों से ज्यादा शिष्टाचारी कोई नहीं होता – अगर Peg तबियत से लगे हों तो!
टकराई हुई भैंस को भी ‘बहन जी सॉरी’ बोलकर आगे बढ़ जाते हैं।
बंता: संता बता सकते हो सबसे अच्छी मेडीसिन कौन सी है?
संता: बियाग्रा!
बंता: वो कैसे?
संता: क्योंकि उसका कोई साइड इफेक्ट नहीं है सिर्फ फ्रंट इफेक्ट है!
सानिया मिर्जा 7 सालो में भी #माँ क्यों नही बन पाई ?
????????????
अब कैसे…????????
????????
समझाऊ की….
????????????????
पाकिस्तानी सामने से वार नही करते…!!
????????????????
अस्पताल में…
इतनी सारी नर्सेज़ होने के बावजूद…
:
:
:
:
रक्तदान करते समय, हाथ में…
रबर की बॉल क्यों पकड़ाई जाती है…??
????????????
मै इसका विरोध करता हूँ
इसे केहते है “खौफ”
एक medical store पर
.
लङका :- 50 कंडोम देना
.
पास में खङी 2 लङकियाँ हँसने लगी ।
.
लङका : 52 देना ।
.
.
दोनो लङकिया गायब????????????
PAKISTANI DISCRETE MATHS QUESTION PAPER
========================================== i) Students found copying will be shot on the spot.
ii)Any student coming late after 10 minutes after the exam starts will be forced to join Al Qayda group
iii)Ak 47 -s and Grenades are not allowed in the exam hall.Students may keep their daggers,Revolvers and pack of anthrax bombs only for self defense.
=========================================== Exam Time 3 hours
Full Marks 100
All questions are compulsory.
1. Abdul was sent to jail for murder. He has 7 wifes in his house. Abdul distributed Money to his wives in such a proportion that the youngest and most recent wife receives maximum and oldest wife gets minimum, and each wife gets double of her former competitor. Abdul has 1700 Rupaye left in his house. Abdul's oldest wife needs atleast 25 rupaye per month. Find out the time when Abdul will have to break Jail to come out and earn money so that his wives do not starve.
2. Karim is a Drug seller. Prices per gram of Marihuana, hasis, haroine and LHD s are 50, 60,70,80 Rupaye respectively. Karim offers a discount of Rupaye 20 for his buyers who buys more than 50 grams of drug. If Rahim , a buyer gets Rupaye 37 discount find out the grams of LHD he bought.
3. Imran tampers the ball thrice per over. He deforms the ball .02% of its original shape each time . Find the percentage deformation the ball due to tampering in a one day series against India in which Imran bowled 9.3 overs.
4. Mohammed has a Company named Al Qayada Kidnapping & Murder Private Limited. He has to threat 10 people per day over Telephone. 40% of the people he threats are cinema stars in Mumbai, 30% are Businessman in Delhi, 20% are Cricket Players in Madras and 10% are shopkeepres in Calcutta . IF isd charges are rupaye 15, 25, 40, 50 per minute from Mohammed's city Islamabad to Bombay, Delhi, Calcutta and Madras respectively and he gets a Telephone bill of 10,230 Rupaya in a month Find out The No of Cinema stars in Mumbai , threatened in that particular month.
5. A terrorist group has to provide one Ak 47.one AK 49,one Rocket Launcher, 50 Grenades and one pack of RDX to its Ron roots for training .One AK 47 costs 100$; One Ak 49 costs 150 $ ,A Bazuka rocket Launcher costs 250 $ , grenade is 3 $ each , a pack of Rdx Bomb attached with remote Control is 500 $. The terrorist group admitts 2000 new people every year out of which 30 % are court-martialed . Find the amt of Foreign Money Pakistan Govt has to provide each year to run such a group.
6. If stabilty of democratic Govt. in pakistan is given by the following equation X exp3 +X exp2 -16 =i; Find out x.
7. Probaliblity of a Pakistani prime minister to be shot is 78 %. Probabilty of a Military general to be shot is 80 % . FInd the joint probability of a Prime minister to be shot who is also a Military general.
8. Find out geometrically the area of Pakistaan using PI Theorem with Osama BIn Ladens Correction (That is taking he value of PI = 786 instead of 3.14....), if Paktunistaan is taken as a heptagon.
9. A 'GHAURI' missile tries to fly from Drass to Kargil which is not too far from Drass (say 100 miles) and is exactly to the East of Drass . The wind is blowing from the South and the speed of the wind is exactly equal to the speed of the airplane. (The speed of the airplane is measured with respect to the air!)The pilot decides to steer traight to Kargil all the time during the flight. Will the airplane ever reach Kargil ?
10. What if the speed of the wind is k times the speed of the airplane, where k is a positive number (can be greater or less than 1)? Try to sketch the trajectory of the airplane (with respect to the ground, of course) in each of the three cases: k=1, k1 and k<1.
11. Briefly discuss the Unsolved problem f "Bisection of a Trinagle" with a Compass and an unmarked ruler if the triangle is named as KASHMIR.
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