What Indian advertisements have taught me.???
1. Kareena has dandruff problem, Katrina has dry hair problem,
Shilpa has hairfall problem
2. If you have a beautiful wife, make sure your neighbour doesn't use a deodorant in your absence.
3. Your complexion is more important than your qualifications.
4. If there is no salt in your kitchen you can use Toothpaste.
5. Every second oral care brand is No. 1 and recommended by every dentist in India!!!
6. If your daughter is not Ready to Get married, take her to a jewelry/textile shop.
7. Only reason why men use deodorant is to get girls.
8. Most Cola's cure all kinds of phobias. You will be close to a superman, if you drink these regularly!!
9. All superstars are so poor that they prefer to risk life for a cool drink than to purchase it for Rs:10
10. The special effects in shampoo ads are greater than special effects in Avatar.
11. Fruit content in shampoo and soap is more than fruit content in 99% of juices.
12. Amul has better satirical cartoonists than people who make better milk products.
13. Most people buy vehicles to travel in bad roads but complain about roads in India.
14. You can't eat Dairy Milk without spreading it all over your face.
15. Nobody uses motorbikes for commuting, its only to pick up girls.
16. All soaps kill 99.9% of germs.
17. People believe that Bacardi makes music CD's and Directors special/Kingfisher make mineral water.
18. The only thing mothers and daughters talk to each other is usually about hair oil.
19. No matter what kind of expert one is, he'll always wear a white laboratory coat.
And, finally this (to be read in one breath)
20.Mutualfundinvestmentsaresubjecttomarketriskspleasereadtheofferdocumentcarefullybeforeinvesting.
Hope you had a Good read!
PAKISTANI DISCRETE MATHS QUESTION PAPER
========================================== i) Students found copying will be shot on the spot.
ii)Any student coming late after 10 minutes after the exam starts will be forced to join Al Qayda group
iii)Ak 47 -s and Grenades are not allowed in the exam hall.Students may keep their daggers,Revolvers and pack of anthrax bombs only for self defense.
=========================================== Exam Time 3 hours
Full Marks 100
All questions are compulsory.
1. Abdul was sent to jail for murder. He has 7 wifes in his house. Abdul distributed Money to his wives in such a proportion that the youngest and most recent wife receives maximum and oldest wife gets minimum, and each wife gets double of her former competitor. Abdul has 1700 Rupaye left in his house. Abdul's oldest wife needs atleast 25 rupaye per month. Find out the time when Abdul will have to break Jail to come out and earn money so that his wives do not starve.
2. Karim is a Drug seller. Prices per gram of Marihuana, hasis, haroine and LHD s are 50, 60,70,80 Rupaye respectively. Karim offers a discount of Rupaye 20 for his buyers who buys more than 50 grams of drug. If Rahim , a buyer gets Rupaye 37 discount find out the grams of LHD he bought.
3. Imran tampers the ball thrice per over. He deforms the ball .02% of its original shape each time . Find the percentage deformation the ball due to tampering in a one day series against India in which Imran bowled 9.3 overs.
4. Mohammed has a Company named Al Qayada Kidnapping & Murder Private Limited. He has to threat 10 people per day over Telephone. 40% of the people he threats are cinema stars in Mumbai, 30% are Businessman in Delhi, 20% are Cricket Players in Madras and 10% are shopkeepres in Calcutta . IF isd charges are rupaye 15, 25, 40, 50 per minute from Mohammed's city Islamabad to Bombay, Delhi, Calcutta and Madras respectively and he gets a Telephone bill of 10,230 Rupaya in a month Find out The No of Cinema stars in Mumbai , threatened in that particular month.
5. A terrorist group has to provide one Ak 47.one AK 49,one Rocket Launcher, 50 Grenades and one pack of RDX to its Ron roots for training .One AK 47 costs 100$; One Ak 49 costs 150 $ ,A Bazuka rocket Launcher costs 250 $ , grenade is 3 $ each , a pack of Rdx Bomb attached with remote Control is 500 $. The terrorist group admitts 2000 new people every year out of which 30 % are court-martialed . Find the amt of Foreign Money Pakistan Govt has to provide each year to run such a group.
6. If stabilty of democratic Govt. in pakistan is given by the following equation X exp3 +X exp2 -16 =i; Find out x.
7. Probaliblity of a Pakistani prime minister to be shot is 78 %. Probabilty of a Military general to be shot is 80 % . FInd the joint probability of a Prime minister to be shot who is also a Military general.
8. Find out geometrically the area of Pakistaan using PI Theorem with Osama BIn Ladens Correction (That is taking he value of PI = 786 instead of 3.14....), if Paktunistaan is taken as a heptagon.
9. A 'GHAURI' missile tries to fly from Drass to Kargil which is not too far from Drass (say 100 miles) and is exactly to the East of Drass . The wind is blowing from the South and the speed of the wind is exactly equal to the speed of the airplane. (The speed of the airplane is measured with respect to the air!)The pilot decides to steer traight to Kargil all the time during the flight. Will the airplane ever reach Kargil ?
10. What if the speed of the wind is k times the speed of the airplane, where k is a positive number (can be greater or less than 1)? Try to sketch the trajectory of the airplane (with respect to the ground, of course) in each of the three cases: k=1, k1 and k<1.
11. Briefly discuss the Unsolved problem f "Bisection of a Trinagle" with a Compass and an unmarked ruler if the triangle is named as KASHMIR.
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