Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, “I’m
so pissed off!”
“What happened?” asked the bartender politely.
“See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and
jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her goddamned husband came in the front
door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!”
“Gee, that’s tough!” commiserated the bartender.
“Right, but that’s not what really got me aggravated,” the customer went on. “When her husband
came into the room he said ‘Hey great! You’re naked already! Let me just take a leak.’ And damned if
the lazy son of a bitch didn’t piss out the window right onto my head.”
“Yuk!” The bartender shook his head. “No wonder you’re in a lousy mood.”
“Yeah, but I haven’t told you what really, really got to me.
Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his
condom out of the window. And where does it land? My damned forehead!”
“Damn, that really is a drag!” said the bartender.
“Oh, I’m not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump. It
turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my
head!”
The bartender paled. “That would sure mess up my day.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” the fellow rattled on, “but do you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY
pissed me off? When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!”
Why do so many gays have moustaches
Q. Why do so many gays have moustaches?
A. To hide the stretch marks.
I think she choked
A woman was in a coma. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath when one of them
noticed that there was a response on the monitor whenever her crotch was touched.
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, “Crazy as this sounds, but
maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.”
The husband was skeptical, but they assured him they’d close the curtains for privacy. The hubby
finally agreed and went into his wife’s room.
After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flatlined. No pulse, no heart rate, nothing. The nurses ran
into the room.
The husband, who was standing beside his wife’s bed pulling up his pants, said, “Erm... I think she
choked.”
New meanings...
SEAGULL MANAGER—A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and
then leaves.
SALMON DAY—The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE—The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to
get it to work again.
AIRPLANE BLONDE—One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a black box.
AUSSIE KISS—Similar to a French kiss, but given down under.
BEER COAT—The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3
a.m.
BEER COMPASS—The invisible device that ensures you arrive home safely after a booze cruise,
even though you’re too drunk to remember where you live, how you got there, and where you’ve come
from.
GREYHOUND—A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
Na woh inkaar karti hai
Na woh ikraar karti hai
KAMBAKHT mere hi sapno mein aakar
Mere dost se pyaar karti hai.
Jab Jab gire Baadal, Teri Yaad aayi
Jhoom ke barsa Saawan, Teri Yaad aayi
Bheega main,lekin phir bhi teri Yaad aayi
Kyon na aaye teri yaad?
Tune jo meri Chattri ab tak nahi lautai...
Lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne
Lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne
Yahan likhana mana hai.
This is classic.... supperrrb example of our cute trains...
Train ruki... Khidki khuli..
Nazarein mili.. Usne kaha.
Chai. Chai.Garam Chai.. :)
Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paoge
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge!!!!:?
Door se dekha to haseena bula rahi thee..
paas jaa ker dekha to bhains sir hila rahi thee.
Maine poocha chand se ki dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin...
chand ne kaha.. Ullu ke pathe.. itni upar se dikhta hai kahin???
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